The Underachievers Guide to Attaining Mediocrity

Passed Out in A.A. Again...Fuck.

2010-05-02T20:25:00.000-07:00

Bonzia the dog who resembled a bear with Wolverine's head.

Bella

Lower Area E

Dino about to stick the first move of Masochist, and some guy trying to use the force on him.

Two Pitch

Weigh the Scales

2010-03-28T15:17:00.000-07:00

Michael begins to Weigh the Scales.

Second move.

Poor Circulation and Men Who Wear Womens Jeans

2010-03-19T11:06:00.000-07:00

So here are some picks of a problem me and mike did a few months back we call The Fat Girlscout. I first started trying this line a few seasons back, it seemed impossible as I could not even hang on the crux holds. So a few seasons went by and one fall day something inside of me just clicked. I saw a group of guys strolling down the street, however they appeared to all be sporting their little sisters jeans. I thought about great leaders like Jon Wayne, Lt. Wharf, and Optimus Prime and a very sad thought entered the front of my mind. I was happy that these people were all dead, not born yet, or killed by Megatron while being distracted by a fellow autobot. At least that didn't have to see this shit. I knew there was unbalance in the force, and two solutions became apparent: 1) I could purchase outrageously large jeans and pray the overcompensation would bring us all back to zero or 2) I could go climbing and stop judging people just because fell more comfortable in children's clothing. I almost chose option one and then I recalled how large jeans cast a dark shadow over the 90's. Option 2 was my only chance. I approached the line and thought "Sid Vicious died young for a reason, years of poor leg circulation had driven him mad.".First move blah blah blah lock-off blah shitty sloper dang.

What would milliseconds later become an ocular K-9 dab.
I was so surprised when I ripped my shirt off going to the next sloper,calm down ladies it was organic cotton...it could have happened to anyone.

Notice the left hand, this is an old KGB technique I learned in the motherland called "fishhooking".

Hope you all enjoyed, and as usual if you have any questions just keep them to yourself. EDIT: This line is actually called Battle of the Buldge.

Shadow of the Colossus

2009-12-27T19:22:00.000-08:00

Been in the burg for a while and have been getting exited for this seasons projects. So here is the list: Portobello, Lever 2000, and Jason Lives. I finally stuck the first move on Lever 2000, which seroiusly took four days of effort, and while the rest of the sequence is much easier I still only stick the second move one out of five times. I have been eating lots of ham so as long a I wash my hands it should be done soon. The last time I climbed on jason lives in the summer it was easy, until you get to that wierd mantle move. Reaching the faint sidepull was not a problem, but I could not stand up; hopefully the cold weather and ham will remedy this. The hardest is Portobello, which is my dream climb. Fortunatly me and Mike went out to climb a few weeks back and almost made dreams come true. Luckily my finger was split so I had to use the toe hook beta, without this beta it Portobello would be V.10. Mike and did Two Pop to the lip, but this climb need seroius pads and spotters. The ground beneath the climb seems to be erodinng quickly. Anyway peace and love to all, and happy Spaghetti Monster day.

Portobello

2009-12-21T18:26:00.000-08:00

Welcome Pebble Suckers

2009-11-28T08:51:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I know this page has opened before you and you are very excited. Well turn your amps down to the three setting (volume), but dail the reverb all the way up because this universe is big as hell an there are a lot of UFO's in this shit. Today I went out and punted [(copyright Jay Tilley) Post Hueco] on my favorite line to punt on...Katilfafish. K-fish is basically the hardest boulder problem in the universe, by universe I mean a world constrained within apartment B on straight street. As a climber I had hoped to never have to use my biceps, I tried to climb it backward with my triceps, however my penis keeps falling out of my pajamas with this beta. The latter beta is illegal in NC, so let me shed light on my bicep training regimen. First a light stretch, to do this I simply turn on my basic cable and choose between QVC nad The View. After I select a program that exerts the same amount of discomfort as K-Fish I simply need to get my workout tools. As far as tools it's simple, I need two cigarettes, the remote in case (in the case that Star Jones returns, or seasonal towels go on sale again) and finally I will simply have to find my cat. Once my smokes are lit, (Plural "smokes". If you can only smoke one quit now, because you are not going to make it.) I usually do Four sets of seven to eight cat curls. If the cat passes out from the smoke just keep lifting, as we all know a limp body is much harder to lift than an animated body. Couple rules, never allow your feline to ingest cat-nip post workout, second always keep your door shut and wear pants, third for some reason you will need to keep this a secret from women who interest you.
I hope this will keep us all from getting pumped on the the last move of K-fish, until then stay out off my driveway, and out of my life.
Hulkachak